


somebody else

by denimandflowers



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon, Homophobic Themes, M/M, but not really, doyoung dealing with issues, it's for the plot, jaehyun also has a girlfriend pls dont h8 me, jaehyun being an idiot, potentially heavy themes pls proceed with caution!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:20:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23245402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denimandflowers/pseuds/denimandflowers
Summary: Doyoung was tired of Jaehyun’s increasingly distant attitude towards him.They were supposed to be soul mates, best friends forever.Jaehyun told him anything and everything.But lately, why did it feel like Jaehyun was slipping away from him?
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	1. doyoung

**Author's Note:**

> Social distancing has left me with so much time on my hands to work on jaedo stories in peace :-)
> 
> I'm so happy with all the sweet comments on my previous work. I love them all T_T  
> those long ones made me so happy, you guys have no idea. i reread every single one of them over and over again ♡
> 
> also, this one will be a short chaptered fic & there will be 2 chapters in each update!
> 
> _“So I heard, you found, somebody else…”_

_**doyoung** _

Doyoung sat in the corner of the room alone, panting as he leaned his back against the wall.

As usual, things hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped. He’d managed to mess up almost every run through they’d had that evening.

Taeyong would glare at him through the mirror, and he’d caught Mark and Johnny not so subtly glance at him every few minutes.

He was a perfectionist and would usually pay extra attention in practise sessions but he hadn’t been feeling up to it these days.

“Doyoung,” Taeyong began in a chiding tone. “You’ve been lagging behind everyone else these past few days, and our comeback’s in a week.”

Doyoung scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “You think I don’t know that, Tae?”

“I’m just reminding you,” Taeyong said, voice turning soft.

He could be strict when he needed to, but he was sensitive, too. He could pick up on the member’s moods, knew if one of them was in a slump.

He could read Doyoung more than anyone else, even if Doyoung was a master at hiding his emotions and keeping everything bottled inside.

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” Doyoung snapped. “I’ll get my shit together in time for the comeback. I won’t fuck it up for anyone.”

Taeyong sighed, hands resting on his slender waist. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I’m more concerned about how you’ve been feeling.”

“We all have bad days,” Doyoung said with a shrug, walls building. He hated talking about feelings.

“You’ve been off for weeks.” Taeyong moved to sit beside him. Doyoung felt cornered by the concern shining bright in the leader’s eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Taeyong pressed. He glanced around for a moment, noticing that everyone else were gathered at the sofas in the other end of the room, joking around.

His voice dropped, “Manager says he knows a really good psychiatrist.”

Doyoung frowned at the implication of his words. None of them had ever had issues that warranted a consultation with a professional. They had confided in each other during their trainee days and that had been more than enough.

But a psychiatrist? It wasn’t uncommon in the industry, though. Doyoung’s heard of the typical rumours that went around about idols seeking help.

Doyoung didn’t know if it was necessary. He _knew_ where his frustrations stemmed from. He just didn’t know _how_ to deal with it, and had no solution no matter how much it kept him awake at night.

“I don’t need that kind of help,” Doyoung grunted.

“Then tell me how I can help you, Doie,” Taeyong pleaded. “I don’t care about the comeback. You’re more important. I just want you to feel better.”

Doyoung was taken aback at the desperation in Taeyong’s eyes.

He glanced down at his shoes as he contemplated on telling Taeyong the truth. There was a reason he considered Taeyong to be his best friend. He knew him well, knew the right things to say and was honest even if it hurt to hear sometimes.

But some things were hard to share. He hadn’t told _anyone_ , afraid of the consequences.

When he looked up again, he found himself locking eyes with Jaehyun who was staring at him from across the room.

He glanced away, swallowing hard to stop the emotions that were stirring inside.

“It’s nothing.”

+

Doyoung didn’t know exactly when it happened.

All he knew was that he woke up one day and realised that Jaehyun wouldn’t look at him anymore.

Doyoung missed waking up with Jaehyun lying beside him, missed laughing at their little inside jokes, missed just _talking_ over a nice, warm meal.

That morning he woke up just like he had the past few weeks.

Exhausted, and alone.

He stared at himself in the mirror.

It was a day to their comeback and he was nowhere close to dealing with it.

He wondered if the others sensed his distraction but pretended not to notice, or if they knew that it was best if they said nothing about it.

He hated being a burden to the rest because they were a team. A family above everything else. If someone was feeling off it was bound to rub off on the rest of them.

The last time it happened, last year, Jungwoo had his issues to deal with. Eventually he’d pulled out of the team so he wouldn’t drag them down with him. But now that he was back and better than ever, Doyoung felt like he was heading down that road and there was nothing that could stop him.

Doyoung refused to be that person. After all they’ve been through, he couldn’t do that to them.

Deciding that he would deal with it the only way he knew how to, Doyoung stormed out of his room, heading towards the kitchen with purpose.

“Jaehyun, can I talk to you?”

Both Johnny and Jaehyun turned when they heard Doyoung. Johnny went back to his bowl of rice, pretending he hadn’t heard anything. Jaehyun hesitated but eventually nodded, setting his bread down on his plate and trailing behind the older man.

Doyoung could feel his heart thundering in his chest as he led the way to his room. He hadn’t expected Jaehyun to agree so easily. In fact, he had expected a rejection or an excuse of some sort, like he had in the past couple of weeks every time he tried to talk to the younger.

He closed the door behind them, biting nervously at his lip.

“What is it?” Jaehyun regarded him with a nonchalant look on his face.

For the first time in weeks, Doyoung could _feel_ the distance between them. They were standing five feet away but it felt like an ocean. Jaehyun had his arms across his chest, eyes guarded, posture closed off.

“Did I do something to upset you?” Doyoung blurted.

The question had been hanging over his head like a dark, ominous cloud.

“I’m not upset.”

Despite his words, Jaehyun’s tone was curt and defensive.

“Just be honest with me, please,” Doyoung swallowed hard. “I’m at my wit’s end here, Jae. I feel like I don’t exist in your eyes anymore.”

Jaehyun shrugged. “Do we need to be with each other 24/7? It’s not like I’m _obliged_ to spend all my time with you, am I?”

His words felt like a stab in the heart. The Jaehyun in the past would have never said those words. The Jaehyun he knew was sweet and kind, and would never hurt him like this.

“You told me you loved me.”

Doyoung hadn’t meant to bring it up. Jaehyun had said it once, a few months ago.

They’d shared a kiss one night, and Jaehyun had told him he loved him. They hadn't put a label on what they were, but they’d sneaked into each other’s rooms to make out, Jaehyun would hold his hand backstage, and Doyoung would whisper sweet nothings into his ear whenever he could.

“Is it over?” Doyoung wondered, feeling his heart wither with every word.

“What do you mean? There was nothing to begin with,” Jaehyun said quietly.

 _Nothing_.

Doyoung couldn’t believe this was happening. Couldn’t believe the words leaving Jaehyun’s lips.

“So whatever we had, it meant nothing to you?”

Doyoung could feel himself shaking. Jaehyun’s expression faltered for a second before he schooled it into one of indifference again.

“Listen, hyung. It was nice while it lasted, but you and I both know that nothing can ever come out of it.”

Doyoung nodded, the reality of it slowly sinking in. How could he have been so stupid, to think that it was real?

“You’re right,” he whispered thickly.

“I’m sorry.”

Doyoung glanced at him. Jaehyun truly did look like he was.

“Can we—can we pretend it never happened?” Jaehyun shifted awkwardly.

Doyoung didn’t know how much more he could take.

This man before him, the man he’d given his heart to was telling him that what they’d shared was a lie. Doyoung didn’t know if he could deal with having to see Jaehyun’s face while they embarked on a new era.

Doyoung wondered if Jaehyun could see that he was falling apart when he said, “Okay.”

+


	2. jaehyun

_**jaehyun** _

Jaehyun’s lips pulled into a wide smile as his phone lit up with an incoming message.

**parkchaeyeon**

i’m free tonight ^^

23.17pm

**jeongjaehyun**

meet you at the usual place?

23.18pm

**parkchaeyeon**

see u in 15 mins.

23.20pm

He quickly got dressed and headed outside.

“You’re going somewhere?”

Jaehyun looked up from his phone to see Youngho standing there in his pyjamas. He had a glass of water in his hand, having just emerged from the kitchen.

Jaehyun nodded. “Meeting someone.”

“Your girlfriend?” Youngho asked with a cock of his eyebrows.

Jaehyun blanched. “How did you know?”

“I notice stuff,” Youngo replied with a shrug. He took a sip from his mug.

“You should be more careful,” Youngho advised. “No one else knows but I’m sure word will spread soon.”

“It’s not like we have a dating ban, do we?” Jaehyun said with a small laugh as he slipped into his shoes.

“No,” Youngho said thinkingly, slipping a hand into his pocket. “But, well. I’m not talking about management.”

“What do you mean?”

Youngho paused. “Doyoung’s having a hard time. You should cut him some slack,” he said softly.

Jaehyun froze, surprised at Youngho’s seemingly random remark.

“What do you mean? What does he have to do with anything?”

Youngho chuckled as he shook his head. “Like I said, I notice everything.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jaehyun shot back defensively.

“Whatever it is, just don’t hurt him, Jae,” Youngho said quietly. “You know how he is. He acts all tough and shit but he hurts a lot.”

After the confrontation that morning with Doyoung, Jaehyun really didn’t need one with someone else.

“Doyoung knows how to take care of himself,” Jaehyun snapped.

Youngho nodded, looking like he had something else to say but held his tongue instead.

“Have fun on your date,” Youngho said with a smile. “Don’t stay out too late. We have an early day tomorrow.”

Youngho's words resonated in his head for the rest of the evening. He felt terrible for being entirely preoccupied in the head with futile thoughts while on a date with his girlfriend but he couldn't help it.

“You seem out of it today.”

Jaehyun’s eyes snapped up to look at Chaeyeon. She had her hair down today, falling in waves over her chest. Her eyes shone bright with concern even as the rest of her face was hidden behind a black mask.

Jaehyun reached over for her hand, linking their fingers together. “I’m sorry. Just a lot on my mind.”

“Your comeback tomorrow?”

“Among other things.”

“You’ll do well,” Chaeyeon reassured him, leaning closer into him. “Anything else you wanna talk about? Something I could help with?”

The image of Doyoung close to tears that morning came to his mind. He had thought that it was for the best. But why had it hurt when he’d said those words to him?

“Hmm, nothing,” Jaehyun replied as he squeezed her hand. It wasn’t like he could tell her that he used to have feelings for his friend. Feelings for a _man_.

“I know we’ve only been dating for a few weeks but I hope you know that I really like you,” Chaeyeon admitted shyly.

Jaehyun grinned as he pushed thoughts of a certain Kim Doyoung to the back of his mind.

He leaned in, meeting her in a kiss.

+

It was d-day.

Despite having done it for years, Jaehyun still felt sick with nervousness with every comeback. The desire to do well was strong, and the love he had for fans only motivated him to be the best version of himself.

As usual, the waiting room was bustling. Jaehyun glanced around as soon as he was done with his make up. He caught sight of some of the members lazing around on the sofa, Taeyong was practising with Yuta in a corner. Taeil, Mark and Haechan were sharing some bread as they joked around.

There was only one person missing.

“I saw him leave for the washroom,” Youngho said knowingly as he appeared beside him.

Jaehyun side-eyed him.

“I wasn’t looking for anyone,” he lied.

“Sure,” Youngho scoffed. “Remember what I told you, Jae. Don’t fuck things up.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes as Youngho left to join Jungwoo on the sofa. He needed a bathroom break anyway, was what he told himself as he slipped out of the room and headed for the restrooms.

Jaehyun tried not to panic when he found them empty.

Doyoung had a habit of disappearing before a performance. Despite putting up a strong front for the fans, Doyoung had frequent meltdowns. He had always been terrible at dealing with his emotions. Taeyong often told him that he was being too hard on himself, but Doyoung was a perfectionist. He hated settling for anything less than the best.

He hated feeling useless and helpless.

Jaehyun found him sitting in the stairwell, head hung low as he tried to regulate his breathing. Jaehyun said nothing as he sat down beside the older, taking Doyoung’s hand in his.

Doyoung flinched but didn’t pull away.

It was reminiscent of their younger days, when Jaehyun would comfort the older with nothing but a simple touch whenever he was feeling down or stressed. They hadn’t been on the best terms for a long time, but Jaehyun hoped that Doyoung knew that he would always care for him.

“I’m still here for you, you know that, right?” Jaehyun said into the silence. Feeling brave, Jaehyun slid his other arm around Doyoung’s waist, pulling him in close. He felt relieved when Doyoung didn’t push him away.

“Why did you change your mind?” Doyoung wondered, finally looking at him. He sounded sad, confused.

Jaehyun held his gaze for a moment before his eyes fell to Doyoung’s lips. Thin, moist.

Jaehyun remembered their first kiss.

That one night a year ago, after having a few drinks. He remembered Doyoung’s laugh, his lips pulled back into the most wonderful smile, bangs falling into his eyes.

 _“I want to kiss you_ ,” Doyoung had whispered.

 _“You’re drunk_ ,” Jaehyun had laughed but his heart had fluttered before Doyoung had leaned in to kiss him.

 _It wasn’t a mistake_ , Doyoung had told him the morning after.

“It’s not a mistake,” Jaehyun echoed the words Doyoung had uttered a year ago. “I don’t regret it, hyung.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Doyoung said scathingly, jerking out of Jaehyun’s hold. The wall between them was there again.

“I heard you loud and clear yesterday. You don’t have to remind me.”

Doyoung jumped to his feet, running a hand through his hair out of frustration. He stared down at the younger, giving him a chance.

Jaehyun bit his lip. He was confused. He hadn’t meant much of what he’d said, but he couldn’t tell Doyoung. He hadn’t figured it out. But one thing was for sure.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” Jaehyun admitted.

“What do you mean?” Doyoung frowned.

“Because I can’t be with you,” Jaehyun said quietly. “But I don’t want you to leave me. I still want you here, with me.”

“You’re being selfish,” Doyoung cried. He was close to tears again. 

Jaehyun’s face fell. “I know,” he said quietly.

Doyoung shook his head. He looked like a mess, and they were due to go onstage any time now.

“Look, we can’t do this right now, okay?” Doyoung uttered wearily. “Let’s just try to get through today.”

+

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading ♡ :-)


End file.
